Saturday, May 12, 2012

05 May 2012


Do you suppose many people send the doc a thank you note for a colonoscopy? It's hard to imagine that I'm about to be the first. Nonetheless, I'm doing it, not so much because of his excellent butt-side manner, as I was sound asleep enjoying my single serving of Proponol at that time, but more for the general friendliness of the staff, which includes the doc.

They didn't even blanch over my word choice as I expressed myself with more colorful language than usual, but (1) I was venting nervous energy while speaking with people who'd likely never see me again, and (2) his signature really did resemble a steaming pile of horse crap, and as one professional to another, I thought, at least at the moment, that he needed to know. Now, not so much, but they all endured and indulged me very well.

In particular, the anesthetist was a delight. There was a sparkle of deep mischievousness resident in her eyes as she assured me that I'd be able to moon walk better than Michael Jackson after she was finished. In the procedure room, she showed me the large syringe of milk of amnesia, smiled with her twinkling eyes, and continued her work as I informed her that she was becoming fuzzy. Very fuzzy.

The next thing I recall was waking up back in my little screened cubicle singing show tunes and farting with gay abandon. By the way, they didn't find the gerbil. 

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